Greetings, smarks. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jed "The Destroyer" Cournoyer. In a world where controversy rules the day... prepare for even more. Now, I'm here to make you think. I don't care how much you end up hating me or how much you disagree with me. If I can get you to think, and maybe even discuss with people what I've talked about, then my work is completed.

Pleasantries aside, I'll get into the heart of today's topic: The horrible way WWE is tarnishing the image of holy matrimony. I, for one, am Catholic. I don't always practice it, but that doesn't matter. We Catholics hold such value in marriage... It's the spiritual and eternal bond between man and woman (and before you ask, yes, I am against gay marriages. And that might be considered off-topic here, but don't forget that the WWE did tease the angle). Anyway, marriage is something sacred; it's even one of the Sacraments, but I won't bore you with a religion lesson. Keeping all this in mind, we come to the most recent (and absurd) WWE storyline, the 'Til Death Do Us Part Match'. Here we see Matt Hardy taking on Glen Jacobs (I can't call him Kane anymore. Isaac Yankem maybe, but not Kane. Not without his mask and inability to talk.), with the winner getting the 'privilege' of marrying Lita. There are about 100 things wrong with this, ranging from the combatants in the match, to the reward, to how much it was hyped...

There is NO NEED for this match. None. Except for the fact that it lit a fire under my ass and made me write this column, which is the best thing you'll get out of the angle, so enjoy it. Anyhow, they're really hyping this match up, way too much. One can only take so many backstage segments involving Jacobs, Lita, Hardy, and whoever else wants to stake their claim and say they raped Lita so the baby might be theirs. Kamala maybe? Ew, nasty thought. As I was saying, they're overdoing this. I could see if it was for the World Title, as that's something that's actually important, and people actually care about it. Well, maybe 10-15 people actually care about THAT, but anyway... It's a bad enough angle to begin with, we don't need it shoved in our faces every night.

Aside from how incredibly stupid it is to begin with, we can touch on how anti-religious it is. As I said before, it's holy matrimony. Two people (man and woman, I can't stress that enough) fall in love and get married. You don't just get married based on who wins a fixed match. Now, I know they're not really getting married, it's just the principle behind it. They shouldn't be toying with something so sacred. It bothers me even more than the Katie Vick angle, which was second on my all-time-lowest-points-of-WWE list only to the gay marriage angle betwixt Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo. Honestly, I have no problem with gay people. Hell, my state's Governor just admitted that we was gay, and had an affair with a man. I don't care what people do inside or outside of the closet, as long as they don't do it in front of me. I don't believe that two men or two women should marry. It's not ethically or spiritually right.

Now, the WWE has pulled this crap quite a few times, destroying what marriage stands for and all. I'm really sick of it, and it needs to stop. I like watching good storylines (but then why do I watch WWE? Odd..) as much as the next smark, but it should stay in good taste. People shouldn't start humping mannequins in a morgue, or trying to marry their gay tag team partner. Why is WWE trying to defile such sacred events like death and marriage? Do they really think that it's going to draw a ton of people? How many people out there are into necrophilia? How many are into gay marriages? That's a small demographic to go after...

Now, on a bit of a personal note, I am engaged. And yes, she's a woman. I know that firsthand, but that's not something to discuss here. We're going to be married because we love each other, not because I beat my rival in bowling or chess. We're doing it the right way. And just a note, kiddies, don't challenge your best friend to a Texas Deathmatch for his girlfriend just because she is hot and you want a piece. And please don't think I just called Lita hot, as she's nowhere close, I'm merely using examples. If there are any WWE writers watching this: PLEASE pull a WCW and drop the angle without explanation. It would be much better than to let it go in its current state of things. Maybe you could even have Lita be a lesbian and not marry either one, ANYTHING but the marriage angle. Now, I'm not one of those extremely religious bible-thumpers, but I do appreciate sacred things. There's nothing I can really do about all this except bitch about it in columns, but I'm sure if you pissed off a higher authority, they could do something about it. Then again, I could see WWE trying to sign the Pope to a contract and then making him job his Papal title to Triple H, just because he bangs the boss' daughter and he gets what he wants... but I digress.

Anyway, I hope this got your brains going a little bit. Stay tuned for more, as I'll be sure to find another major problem with something the WWE did. If not, I can just dredge something up from the past and bash the hell out of that. Comments? Questions? Death threats? You can email me at JedC@comcast.net or if you prefer instant gratification from the awesome one, you can contact me via AIM, my screen name is PBA Jed. I welcome all constructive criticism. In the meantime, try to enjoy watching the beaten, tattered remains of professional wrestling. I, however, shall go watch something good, like Anarchy Rulz '99. Long live ECW...


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