House Show, No Mercy, and More

Written by Chris Vining
October 20, 2003

You are in for a bit of a treat tonight. I had a recap of a house show that I was going to write, as well as a No Mercy Slam. Well time didn't run quite as I had planned, and I only had time for one column. I also couldn't see spending the money for a lousy PPV. I couldn't afford it, and since I didn't buy it, I could justify writing a spoof about it. I am not lucky enough to get free PPVs (damn you luck U.K. viewers. Didn't we fight the Revolutionary war for something?). But have no fear, I will make fun of it and share my thoughts on that, the house show I went to, and a bunch of other random things. As always email your thoughts to Killer.canary@cox.net

The house show is a time-honored tradition in wrestling history. It gives wrestlers the opportunity to practice matches with upcoming opponents, have some fun, try new ideas, and make some extra cash in the process. I went to the Raw October 18, 2003 house show and I wanted to give you some of the high points and a quick recap. This was much better than the last live show I attended, a Ring of Honor show in which I drove around for two hours but never found the arena.

Before I could even get into the arena a guy outside gave me a free poster advertising the Macho Man's new CD. How the mighty have fallen. That is about half a step above Ron "K-Kwik, aka the Truth aka Suntan Superman" Killings selling his CD outside live WWE events. I saw the show at the Dunkin Donuts center in Providence, RI. The arena is usually used for hockey, and if it were today I would have had front row seats. Unfortunately the ring was in the center of the ice, about 75 feet away. The crowd was about 4,000+, but it was louder than when I went to the Royal Rumble 2003 in Boston. The only bad thing was that the mics and sound system were terrible, and you couldn't hear anything.

Random Pre Show Notes
As I waited for the show to start I noticed a guy that could have passed for Jeff Hardy. He had the same hair, build, a hardy boys shirt, and spaced out look in his eye. He had front row seats, so maybe it was Jeff Hardy.
As much as people seem to bash HHH there was more of his merchandise of the fans then anyone else. The Hurricane and RVD were a close second and third. In fact my RVD bobblehead is starting at me right now.
There was no tribute done to honor the passing of Stu Hart. I figured that the WWE would make some mention of him, but they failed to do so. That disappointed me.

THE SHOW BEGINS
"Welcome to the Jungle" plays and out stepsÖHoward Finkle? It's true, I kid you not. At least for today that was his music. Three strippers and a local DJ followed Howard out, so the Fink got a big hand. Then the booing and "Asshole" chants started when Eric Bischoff came out. He then said Stone Cold (huge cheer) followed by a long pause, would not be here today. That brought out deafening boos. The rest of what Bischoff said was mumbled, but he started arguing with a fan in the front row. He said Goldberg was in the building and $100k was on the line for anyone who could take him out, except that "fat piece of garbage in the front row". Bischoff mumbled some more, then gave the mic back to the Fink. Big Poppa Roids came out to the ring to a mixed reaction, then a strong "boo" when people realized that Stacy wasn't with him. Steiner then yelled at Bischoff for "Bringing us to a cesspool like Rhode Island". This brought out RVD to a huge pop, and the first match of the show.

Scott Steiner vs. RVD for the IC title
Steiner looked much better in this match than he usually does on TV. It looked like he was really clicking with RVD, not exactly two guys you would think that would work well together. Steiner was dominating the match before RVD got in his usual set of moves. At one point Steiner shoved the ref into the ropes (619 position) and hit a top rope superplex, but the ref was still out. Steiner brought in a chair but RVD kicked it into his face and got the win. Bischoff came in the ring and complained, getting in RVD's face. This allowed Steiner to hit RVD with the chair and pose with the belt. It was a setup, as both Bischoff and Steiner left together.

Stevie Richards w/ Victoria vs. Val Venis
Richards wasn't wearing his "Stevie Night Heat" tights, so that idea really may be dead and buried. There was a few "Boring" chants, followed by a "Yankees Suck" chant during the match. This was pretty much the same match you see on Heat except for the ending. Val went for the money shot but landed on Richards knees. Val bounced over Richards and popped up against the ropes. In the process Richards nailed a hard Stevie kick. It happened in all one motion and looked rather impressive. Val got the lead back and tried a cover on Richards, but Victoria got on the apron and distracted the ref. Val went to try to get some action from Victoria, but he moved when Richards went to defend his woman. Val used this opportunity to lock in a bizarre step over figure four submission movie for the win.

Gail Kim and Molly vs. Ivory and Lita
Molly and Gail climbed the ropes and got booed, but when Ivory and Lita did it they got a huge cheer. The evil divas were convinced the crowd was "broken" and climbed the ropes to receive an even bigger set of boos. Ivory and Lita showed them how it was done, and in the process, pissed off their opponents. This was a pretty typical match, but all four women looked crisp. The biggest pop thus far was when Lita got tagged in. She hit a Whisper in the Wind clothesline, and a Twist of Fate to beat Molly.

Earl Hebner was the official of the next match, and got a small "You Screwed Bret" chant. Hebner started yelling back and forth with the fans, and even challenged one of them before the fan backed down. I was surprised to see a normally fan friendly ref act like a heel all show. You could tell Earl loved being the bad guy.

Mark Henry w/Teddy Long vs. Tommy Dreamer
In person Henry is massive. He looks like a walrus with dreadlocks. Teddy Long took the mic from Finkle upon entering the ring. He pushed the Fink down and yelled at him for not announcing Henry as the "World's Strongest Man". Finkle tried to go after Long, but Hebner held him back. Long told Hebner to get that white trash out of the ring. Dreamer tried in this match but it was a pathetic squash. Dreamer got in a few kicks, but that was it. I tried to start an "ECW" chant, but it went nowhere. After the match Long told Goldberg to watch his back, belee dat playa.

Dupree and Conway (makeshift La Resistance) vs. The Dudley's
The crowd got to pick the stipulation for this match, courtesy of Stone Cold. As expected, it became a tables match. Conway and Dupree look better together, especially since Grenier is on the shelf/stuck in OVW for life. The Dudley's won when Bubba powerbombed Conway through the table. In a nice move after the match, the Dudley's gave a piece of the table to a little kid at ringside. They ever let me in the ring and pose with the Dudley's and Tag Team belts.

There was an Intermission that lasted about 15 minutes. Half the fans in my section thought the show was over, so I had to inform that it was just a break while they clean up the debris in the ring. During the match the T-Shirt guy shot T-Shirts into the crowd, but got booed because he was from New York. A big "Yankees Suck" chant started up.

Rico w/Jackie vs. Lance Storm
Rico did his usual bit, grabbing Storm's ass on several occasions, the ref's at least once, and at least once to a member of the ring crew. Hebner was officiating again and a "You Screwed Bret" chant started up. Rico answered the chant by saying he never screwed someone named Bret. Storm got a long kiss on Jackie, and also walked away with the win. Since Storm has added a personality his aerial moves have reemerged, and Storm looks more luck the complete wrestler he use to be in his pre-WWE days.

Kane vs. Shane in a street fight
Kane came out looking completely healed as usual, much different than he did on Raw. He got on the mic, and despite not being able to hear much of what he said, you could hear his new phrase "You didn't get the job done, CAUSE I'M STILL STANDING". Shane came through the crowd with a kendo stick and got in several good shots on Kane before the big man gained the advantage. The match spilled to the outside with Shane regaining the advantage. Once they got back in the ring Kane tried to chokeslam Shane on a chair, but Shane reversed it into a DDT. Kane wasn't staying down until he jumped off the top rope into a face full of trash can lid. Shane then dragged Kane into the corner and placed the trashcan on his chest. Shane went to the other corner and hit the coast-to-coast (Van Terminator) for the victory. Kane then sat up and Shane booked it to the back.

The next match was booked as HHH in a tag match, but he apparently tweaked his ankle the night before. Instead Ric Flair took his place. As much as people seem to hate HHH he got huge cheers when he came to the ring.

Flair & Orton w/HHH vs. Booker T and Goldberg
This match went over 20 minutes, but it seemed to drag. Flair sold moves like gold, Booker T looked great, but the guys just didn't seem to click. The only thing that saved this match was a couple of funny spots. Booker T tried a Sunset Flip on Flair and pulled the back of his tights down. Flair ran around bare assed for at least 30 seconds. He even tried to climb the top turnbuckle before Booker threw him off. Luckily I wasn't close enough to see Flair's "Nature Boy". As this was going on Goldberg kept wandering around the apron as Hebner kept yelling at him to hold the tag rope. Goldberg then ripped the rope off and walked around with it as Hebner looked on stunned. Mark Henry tried to attack Goldberg but Booker fought him off. Goldberg speared and jackhammered Orton to get the win and end the show. Goldberg then called Booker back to the ring and had him do a spinaroonie.

I had a great time at the show, and I would go back to the WWE again. They are great to see live, but to get a good view you need to pay the big bucks for primo seats. Thankfully for my budget just being in the building was enough, but I would have loved o be ringside. Nothing beats a live show.

NO MERCY
Tajiri kept the belt with some outside distraction. Jimmy Yang and Ryan Sakoda are expected to join up with Tajiri to form the Japanese mafia. This could be a good idea, but I wish that guys like Ultimo Dragon and Funaki would be included in this angle.

When did the Bashams vs. the APA get added to No Mercy? It might have happened on Velocity, but then again nobody would have seen it anyway. Chocolate Chyna returned with breast implants, which she said was swelling from the clothesline from Hell Bradshaw delivered to her. I have inside information that Bradshaw will miss this week's Smackdown. He realized that to get closer to Pat Patterson he needed man boobs, a la Ric Flair. Apparently Bradshaw gave himself several clotheslines, and suffered a bruised sternum.

The WWE has mentioned "Little Johnny" on both Raw and Smackdown. He edited the video the Indy guy gave to Austin, and last night he kicked the crap out of Shannon Moore. Anyone have any info on this guy, because I certainly don't.

Big Show beat Eddie Guerrero. I guess it is fitting after all the crap the WWE has put Big Show through over the last year. Taking the title off Eddie Guerrero made no sense unless Latino Heat was starting a feud with Brock. This doesn't seem likely though. Why the WWE didn't take advantage of their most popular superstar is beyond me.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle has been my favorite feud recently. I really thought that Cena would pick up the win, thus improving his status on Smackdown. It is certainly no shame to lose to Kurt Angle, but pushing Cena further down the card makes no sense.

Another wrestler in need of a push is Matt Hardy. How did his match go? He lost cleanly to a man his Mf'er has beaten easily. I am a big Zach Gowan fan, but a clean victory over Hardy makes no sense.

The Biker Chain Match turned into a chain on a pole match. Not exactly a showstopper. In the end Taker had to fight off the FBI and Vince just to lose to Brock. This made Brock look weak. Now who is the #1 contender? I would have thought Eddie, but now what?

RANDOM RAMBLINGS
Someone needs to tell Eric Bischoff that the Survivor Series originally had four people on a team not five.

Jericho had a black armband during Raw, presumably to honor Stu Hart. The WWE also did a nice video tribute for the patriarch of the Hart family. The Dudley's had the Hawk tribute covered. Bubba wore a Hawk armband and the Dudley's won the match with the Doomsday Device in honor of the LOD. Both Dudley's dropped down and gave props to Hawk and pointed to the Heavens. That was a nice touch.

We finally figured out who collected the bounty on Goldberg. I'm sure it was suppose to be Nash, but Batista made his return to get the big payday. I also got a chuckle out of seeing him "Pillmanize" Goldberg's ankle.

That is it for me today. I am tired and ready to crash, so if there is a spelling or grammar mistake take it out of my pay. I have so many more wrestling related columns I am working on that I don't want to see a keyboard till tomorrow. Oh and the Red Sox losing and Antione Walker being traded hasn't helped matters. Until next time "Quote the Canary Nevermore".

This is an original column from CCOLINV ENTERPRISES. All information reported really happened, unless it didn't. I encourage you to read my other column at this site and all across the net. I am also looking for someone who could do one or two banners for me. I have the pictures and the ideas; I just need someone to assemble them for me. Find a complete listing and a lot of other great stuff at my brand new web home The Killer Canary. Also check out the site of an up and coming band, Thirty Stones at http://www.thirtystones.com. And I will leave you with my new favorite quote "Montezuma ain't got nothing on Guerrero!"

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